Last week I got a chance to get my mind off of pilot training and be in a college friends wedding. Let me tell you that this post is going to be a detailed eyewitness account of my travels to and from the wedding and the events of the wedding day.

I started my travels to get to the wedding on Thursday the 8th of June. I originally was scheduled to leave on a 6 o’clock-ish evening flight on Northwest to Minneapolis to make a connecting flight to Fort Wayne Airport. However, the opportunity to try and fly stand-by on an earlier flight presented itself and I decided to try and get on the 6 o’clock morning flight to Detroit and then on to Fort Wayne with time to make it to the Wedding Rehearsal and Rehearsal dinner. I get to the airport try and check-in and the self service machines won’t let me try and fly stand-by. Not a problem I’ll just talk with a ticketing agent and see if he can’t help me. I find out that he can’t make it happen and that the plane is over booked anyway. Great I’m now stuck in Tulsa with nothing to do for 12 hours, with 5 hours of sleep and no clue where to go. Thank God for my GPS unit with important locations such as a Starbuck’s (that does not exist), Panera Bread, a mall and movie theater. Needless, to say I found some places to kill sometime, relax, surf the web, start my addiction to Heroes and see a movie. I go back to the airport many hours later to check in to my official flight and everything goes smoothly during the check in process. I even find out Tulsa had a special lane for experience air travelers which even though this was my first commercial flight in about two years I still considered myself an experienced traveler. However, all the time not flying commercially made me forget one important thing about security at airports and that would have been taking my laptop out of my messenger bag before sending it through the X-Ray machine. Opps, other than that I still feel I am a very experience traveler. I get to my gate with plenty of time and wait for my plane. The plane turns out to be delayed, so delayed that by the time it is able to takeoff, I would have missed my connecting flight in Minneapolis so Northwest decides to change my flight and put me on an American Airlines flight to Chicago and then a connecting flight to Ft. Wayne. Get to my new gate and find out that the American Airlines flight is also delayed but I should be able to make my connecting flight and if worse comes to worse I have a friend in Chicago and then I could rent a car and drive the rest of the way the next day. Flight to Chicago is uneventful, except that when I land I find out that I have exactly two minutes to get to my connecting flight two terminals away in Chicago O’Hare. Needless to say that after a dead sprint to make it I miss my connecting flight. The nice people at American then transferred me to a United Airlines flight to Ft. Wayne that same evening that left in like 20 minutes and again it was another two terminals away. I start another dead sprint through Chicago O’Hare. I get to that planes gate and find out that it is going to be delayed for about half an hour which turns out to be more like an hour. Eventually, I get on and make it to Ft. Wayne at approximately 1 a.m. CDT on Friday. When I get to Ft. Wayne, I find out my luggage got lost which stinks because first it had my uniform/wedding clothes and second the smart person that I am thought it would be a good idea to bring my GPS so I could get myself around Ft. Wayne easily, except I packed it in my suitcase which was lost. I get my rental car and rent a GPS from the rental company and report my lost luggage and decide that after being awake for 23 hours on 5 hours of sleep I should get to the hotel to get a decent amount of sleep and worry about everything the next day. Check in to the hotel and get a key to my room, find my good friend asleep as I would have expected and crashed in bed, however I had a hard time falling asleep because I was freaking out over my lost luggage and everything that happened that day, eventually fall asleep and get probably 6 hours of sleep before I am told to get up by my roommate and the groom because they need my help with last minute wedding details such as getting stuff for the wedding and decorating.

I had no clue that when I would wake up on Friday that I would be getting a crash course in wedding planning by being a part of this wedding. Friday morning rolls around and I wake up and find out that my help is needed to drive out to the bride’s house and load up some vehicles with tables for the wedding reception and luggage of the bride and groom for the honeymoon. I make a call to check on the status of my luggage and am informed it is still lost. The three of us the groom, the best man, and myself head out to the brides house to load up the vehicles and we also find out that the bride is going to be at her house and the bride and groom wanted to not see each other at all before the weeding. This began my day as a point man for the groom to make sure he would not see his bride until the wedding ceremony. Get to the house load up the tables and luggage and then return back to Ft. Wayne, get a few minutes of time to relax and chill out with my friends in the hotel before we decide to go to Red Robin for lunch (which was excellent, we all had chocolate shakes and Whiskey BBQ Burgers (that’s a shameless plug). After lunch we make a stop to pickup the grooms and grooms brothers tuxedos for the wedding. I make another call to check on the status of my luggage and am informed it is still missing; not good considering my wedding clothes are inside and the wedding is rapidly drawing closer. I take the groom and the best man back to the hotel and drop them off so they can go across the street and start decorating for the wedding reception, while I head off to the airport to go talk with someone and get more information on the status of my luggage. I get to the airport and find out that the airline has found my luggage. Praise the Lord. The guy at the ticket counter had a little fun saying that he had not seen it but described it is great detail, I got a good laugh out of it. I get my luggage and head back to the hotel to join the decorating party. I help out with the decoration by helping to hang lights around the tent and place tables around the area we are having the reception. Then I get to play another game of groom and bride avoiding each other. After, we finish decorating its time to get ready for the wedding. The three of us get ready and then we go back to the location of the wedding to meet the other two groomsmen and the photographer to start the wedding picture process. We do the wedding picture and they go smoothly except that it was extremely hot where we were taking the pictures and I sweat through my shirt. After the wedding picture the weather started coming through Ft. Wayne which was not good because the original wedding plan called for an outdoor wedding and an outdoor reception. We hoped that the weather would hold off just long enough for the wedding to continue as planned, that hope did not happened. Next we hoped that the weather would move through quickly but that did not happen at all. In the span of about 5-10 minutes we went from wedding plan A which was the outdoor wedding to plan B which was to have the wedding in the lobby of the wedding location which was indoors. However, the as soon as we started marshaling people into the lobby the weather decided to get even worse. The tornado sirens started going off and we were instructed to move everyone to the basement of the facility. Which ment we had to give consideration to a wedding plan C which would have been to have the wedding in the basement if we had to stay down there for any significant length of time. By the grace of God the tornado sirens quickly stopped and we resumed with wedding plan B. We got everyone upstairs quickly and into the lobby and then began the wedding before any other possible wedding delays. We managed to get the bride and groom married before with out any other delays; this however did not end my crazy day as a wedding planner. We still had to get through the reception and that provided even more fun. The original plan was to have the reception indoors and then because of the weather we had to move it inside and then we tried to move it outside and then inside and finally after the caters had gotten all set up inside we decided to move it outside again. In the midst of this whole reception planning, I did get to see a double rainbow; It was pretty cool. We got the reception all reset up outside and we had the wedding reception. After the reception, I had to help tear down on the decorations which was much easier that helping to decorate. After tearing down, we all meet up in the bar to celebrate with alcoholic beverages. All in all it was an interesting day. After some socializing and drinking, I retired.

Woke up Saturday morning and went down to the continental breakfast provided graciously by the groom’s parents. Got something to eat, said good-bye to my friend and the groom and bride and then went up to my room to finish getting ready for the day and pack to leave. Make a stop at Chipotle for lunch (because there are none in Enid, OK) and then head to the airport to check in to my flight. My flights back to Tulsa were uneventful. I stopped by good old Cracker Barrel (again, because there are none in Enid, OK) for breakfast for dinner. I then proceeded to drive back to my apartment in Enid and arrived home safely sometime that evening.

Even though this was the craziest three days of my life thus far, I would not trade this experience for anything.

I learnt one very important lesson from this wedding trip – HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER FOR MY OWN WEDDING. I also probably should carry on my wedding clothes for any other weddings I decide to attend.

I was just eliminated from pilot training less than an hour ago. Please keep me in your prayers as I redesignate and determine what the Lord wants me to do with my life at the particular junction in my life.

Hey everyone who actually still reads this blog or checks for a new posting every once and a while. Here is another long over due update on my life. I swear some day I will get better at updating this thing more often but at the moment that looks very unlikely to happen.

I started flying the T-6 here at Vance about two months ago. I got airsick on my first couple of flights but loved every minute of flying. However, that being said apparently I am not very good at my basic aircraft control and composite cross-check and am currently facing elimination from pilot training. I have one more meeting sometime next week to try and convince those in charge to give me two more flights to try and improve my composite cross-check and basic aircraft control and be safe to solo the aircraft. I don’t want to get kicked out of pilot training but at the moment it seems very likely. The amazing thing is that though this situation stinks to say the least. I really have realized how much I’ve been able to trust God. I am not and really have not question God as to why this is happening to me because I know that he is in control and that no matter what happens he has a better plan for me one that will I can’t even begin to imagine. The only things I have been asking which still show areas in which I am not trusting God (I don’t even know if that is the right thing) is where and what does he want me to do if I do get eliminated. I do have to admit that it is hard at the moment to realize that in my human perspective my life long dream of being a pilot is dying yet I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for me. I have my last meeting to determine if I stay in pilot training this afternoon.

It has been over two months since I last updated this blog. Way to long in my opinion, I apologize for the tardiness of this update but my life has been a bit crazy of late. WOW, A lot has happened since I last updated. Quick recap, I graduate from API with academic honors, moved to Enid, OK in a matter of days, checked into my squadron at Vance AFB, started class a week and a half later.

I started Primary Flight training here at Vance AFB in Joint Undergraduate Specialized Pilot Training (JSUPT) class 09-06. Class started on the 20th of February 2008. Our class spent the first two days going through the standard welcome briefs from all the commanders of the base. After all these welcome briefs our class started physiology. For me and the other Navy and Marine Corp students in our class most of the physiology training was waived because we finished the majority of physiology training at Pensacola. The only training we had to get were refresher courses on the oxygen systems for the T-6, emergency egress procedures for the T-6 and parachute landing falls. We also got a brief on local area survival. After, completing physiology training, we began to learn the systems of the T-6. From what I have seen of the systems and stories from others who have flown the T-6 is that this is going to be a great little plane to fly. After learning the basics of the T-6 systems, our classed moved on to my favorite subject Aerodynamics (the one class it pays to be an Aerospace Engineering, cause while everyone is studying all I had to do was rely on previous knowledge). We just finished what is called flying fundamentals, basically it taught the basics of flying from how to takeoff, to taking off in a crosswind, to straight and level flight, to landing. I have an exam next week on this and then we start learning basic contact flight. Contact has classes on stalls, spins and aerobatics. Next week I have an exam in flight fundamentals and contact. Along with all these classes, I have been doing simulators. The first couple were just familiarization with the cockpit and systems of the T-6. The last two I had his week were basic checklist running. In the next week and a half I have four more simulators which are progressively going to get harder. In a week and a half my class is going to hit the flight line. I am excited to get back to learning how to fly but nervous about how I will do. (Note all this information is about a week and a half old. I have one last sim and then I hit the flight line on Thursday. Everything has been going well up to now.)

Now that I have bored you with the details of what I have been up to in my military training. I’m going to share what else is going on in my life in the next post which should be in a day or two.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I’ve officially been tagged by Josh and Amanda to tell you 5 interesting things about myself. Here goes my attempt:

1) I have lived in nine different place (soon to be ten) in the first 22 years of my life. If you don’t believe me I will recount them all: born in Japan, moved to Gulfport, Mississippi where my sister was born, on to the beautiful island of Oahu, Hawaii. After, Hawaii moved to Yuma, Arizona, then to San Diego, California. From California to Troy, Michigan where I graduated from high school. Michigan to West Lafayette to attend and graduate from Purdue University. In the middle of my time at Purdue my family move to Birmingham, Alabama. After graduating from Purdue, I move to Pensacola, Florida. In a few short weeks I will be making my tenth relocation in my life to Enid, Oklahoma.

2) I recently spun out on I-65 over my Christmas Vacation this past year. It was a drizzly morning and I was getting around some traffic on the Interstate. I was attempting to get over a lane and somehow I missed this red car in the middle of my blind spot and yanked myself back into the lane. However, this yanking over into my lane and the lack of traction on the highway due to the drizzle, I ended up spinning my car 180 degrees and ended up facing traffic in the slow lane. The Lord was gracious to me and protected me, no accident occurred and no injuries were sustained by myself and my car did not even get a scratch. Thank You, Lord for protecting me that morning.

3) I actually enjoyed my engineering classes and look forward to continuing in engineering and getting at least my Master’s of Science in Aerospace Engineering. One day, I hope to put to use my engineering training and design the next generation of airplanes. However, at the moment I am getting the chance of a life time by taking my theoretical knowledge of Aerospace Engineering and learning the practical application of flying airplanes as I train to become a Naval Aviator. That’s another interesting thing about myself is that I am in the process to be a Naval Aviator, Lord willing one day I will be flying jets off of the aircraft carrier but I will go where the Lord wants me to go.

4) I enjoy reading for fun. Often I rather read a good book than watch television (which has increasingly less good shows to watch today), watch a movie or play Video Games. Over the summer I ended up reading a good 5,000+ pages since then my reading has dwindled but when I find a good book I much rather read than do anything else. I recently read the entire Harry Potter Series and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy (that was the majority of my summer reading). More recently I have read When God Writes Your Love Story, When Dreams Come True, Wild at Heart, and currently The Love Languages of God (be looking for my thoughts on this reading soon) I highly recommend all these books. I am not sure what I will pick up next but I hope it is a good read and gives me a lot to think about.

5) I have red-hair. You might not think that is is all that interesting but I do, especially because red heads always have people telling us how much they love are hair and red heads have more fun than ever one else.

That was harder that I expected but I am sure there are more but these are the ones that came to me and my roommate who helped me. I now get the pleasure of tagging three people now, I tag Sara (my cousin), John (my current roommate) and Kathryn (a friend from college).

Sorry, I have been so long in updating this blog. I have had a very interesting past couple of months. I’ll try and give the highlights.

I almost got attrited from flight school around the end of October. I failed my pattern solo check ride for IFS because I was struggling with my landings. In IFS a check ride failure is an automatic Performance Review Board (PRB). The gist of a PRB is to determine if one should continue on in training or be removed from flight training and getting a different job in the Navy. I was very nervous going into the board especially because the officer in charge of IFS recommended to the board that I be attrited from the flight program. However, when I got before the board what happened could only be from God. The board wanted to determine what I was struggling with; the board was trying to determine why I was struggling because I have such a high aeronautical aptitude. The board gave me some good advice and voted unanimously to keep me in the program and give me an extension before I had to solo. I can only thank the Lord for the out come; I went into the board worried that I might be out of flight school and trying to figure out what to do with my life and I came out of the board realizing that God is always in control and that he put that trial in my life to teach me to trust in him alway even when I don’t see him. I thank God for this trial mainly because it taught me the ever needed lesson to trust in God and the ability to help my roommate through the same situation when he failed his checkride.

After, my failed check ride, the PRB and the granting of an extension for my solo I proceeded to get better at landing and passed my check ride and my solo. After, finishing my solo I did some more solo, night flying, and cross countries in IFS and completed IFS the week after Thanksgiving. I had a few small errors on my last check ride of IFS but it was not anything that would have caused me to fail the check ride. I also managed to complete my solo cross country which was a blast; However, I did make a small mistake that could have ended much worse I tried to land on the wrong end of the active runway with some one else departing. That completes my IFS training update.

After, completion of IFS I started API a week later. API stands for Aviation Preflight Indoctrination, it is the first of many military ground training that I will go through in my Naval career, Lord willing. It involves four weeks of academics and water survival training and two weeks of aviation physiology training which involves land survival training, dunker training, a ride in a pressure chamber and bay operations. I am currently in week 4 of API, in a med-down status, aka I’m not training because I am recovering from a cold. In the academics portion one studies Aerodynamics, Aviation Weather, Engine, Navigation and Flight Rules and Regulations. I have successfully completed Aerodynamics, Aviation Weather and Engines. I have one Navigation class left before the Navigation Exam and all of Flight Rules and Regulations to complete in week 4 when I get my upchit and am put back into flying status again. I have completed the water survival training which involved drown proofing in full flight gear, a tower jump and underwater swim in flight suit and boots and a mile swim in a flight suit. The hardest part for me was the tower jump and underwater swim, the mile swim was hard but in all reality it just got boring after swimming in circles for 40 minutes. I have one week of academics which I will hopefully get out of the way next week and then on to the two weeks of aviation physiology. After, completion of API I will be going on to primary training at Vance AFB in Enid, OK to learn to fly the might T-6 Texan II.

I think this brings you up to date on the goings on in my life. I also promise to try and update a little bit more often then I have as of late.

Sorry, it has been such a long time since I have made an update but a lot has been going on in my life. I fully intend to give a status update sometime in the near future.

In America, it is Thanksgiving Day. The government issued holiday in which we take a day to be thankful for what God has given us.

First, and foremost I am thankful for God. I thank him for creating me. I thanking for his beautiful creation which testifies to his existence. I marvel at his greatness every time I look at the star, the mountains, the oceans and the animals he has created. God is the creator and his creation is a gift to me. I thank him for giving me each day; without him sustaining the universe nothing would exist. I thank him for his Son. I thank him for his free gift of salvation through his Son. I deserved to die because of my adulterous attitude towards him, but because of his divine love and grace he has ransomed me. I thank him ransoming me, I will never know how much it cost him to purchase me but I will forever be thankful. I am thankful for orchestrating my life; I have recently started seeing who every thing in my life is under God’s control. God is amazing how he uses events that have happened to me previously as an opportunity to minister to others. God is so amazing.

Second, I am thankful for my husband and wife. For those of reading this post and thinking that that sounds wierd let me first start of by saying that I am not a homosexual, not bisexual and not a polygamist. I am thankful for Jesus, my heavenly bridegroom. I am thankful for his picture of perfect love towards the church. I am thankful for his example of being a servant. Most importantly I am thankful for his sacrificial death to atone for my sins. I am thankful for my future wife. I don’t know who she is, where she is, what she looks like or how I am going to meet her. Yet, I am trusting God to write my love story. Yet, even though I don’t know anything about her does not prevent me from learning to love her like Christ loved the church and being thankful for her.

Third, I am thankful for my family. I really don’t even know what to write about them but I am thankful for them. I am thankful for my father, I thank him for being able to provide for my family. I am thankful for his love, even though sometimes I didn’t receive it. I am thankful for his discipline. I am thankful that in recent months that God has allowed me to grow closer to my father. I am thankful for my mother. I thank her for being a loving and caring person and for her always being there to listen to my problems and offer her advice. I am thankful for my sister. I thank her for allowing me to be her big brother; putting up with all the torture and still being able to love me. Even though there are times I dislike my family, mad, embarrassed, ashamed of my family; Deep down I am thankful for them and all their love.

Fourthly, I am thankful for the mentors in my life. I am thankful for Mr. Jack, Pastor Newton and The Vechik family. These people have spent countless hours with me imparting their wisdom in me. I can not begin to express how much you have impacted my life. This Thanksgiving I am extremely thankful to The Vechik’s. I thank God for Ken and the time he spends teaching me and instructing me. Ken and I have an interesting relationship in terms of spiritual mentor. I often offer my time and services to help Ken with projects around his house, and in the process of being a servant Ken questions me about what God is teaching me and instructs me and challenges me in my walk with Christ. I also want to thank the Vechik’s for opening up their house to me and making me feel welcome and loved in their home. Their home has become a home away from home to me and I thank them for that.

Fifthly, I am thankful for all my friends. I am going to attempt to name a good few of my friends. I am thankful for Dave Smith, Matthew Carter, Scott Deardon, John Conner, Elise Humbert, Matthew Russell, Joe Knable, Jason Settle, Jenny Thomas, Mike Herkamp, Kathryn Lockwood, Dave Nannery, Andrew Meyer, Ben Shoemaker, Rachelle Rogge, Sara DaVia, Steve Mayes, Nichole Vasu, Albert Sawalha, Lee Johnson, Donnie Swope, Josh Otto and Justin Sullivan. I am thankful for your friendship and what every I might have learned from you. I apologized to those who aren’t named I am thankful that God brought you into my life.

Sixthly, I am thankful for God. I know I said that before but one can never be thankful enough for God.

God help me to be thankful everyday for every blessing in my life and help me to be thankful for every trial in my life. Thank You for everything God.

I hope whoever reads this to take a moment to be thankful for what God has blessed them with. Yet, I urge to be thankful for what God has given you everyday not just on Thanksgiving.

Last night at OCF we continued our study in1st Samuel. We picked the study up in 1st Samuel 13.

In this chapter Saul is faced with a huge problem and made a mistake that cost him his kingdom. Some of the difficulties Saul faced in this chapter were a lot of Philistines, having a small army of Israelites compared to the army of the Philistines, a lack of available weapons, he felt the pressure to have success and please the people. Along with all these problems he was waiting for Samuel to come and offer the sacrifice to the Lord. Saul was told to wait seven days and them Samuel would come. It was the seventh day and Samuel had not come. With no Samuel, Saul decided to offer up the sacrifice himself to the Lord. The instant Saul finished offering the sacrifice to God; Guess who shows up? Samuel. Samuel proceeds to pronounce judgment on Saul; the judgment was that Saul’s kingdom has been taken away from him and his family and given to one who was a man after God’s own heart.

Let us look a bit closer to the story so that we do not miss something. What did Saul tell himself? Saul thought that Samuel was not going to come and that since he was the leader he needed to lead and act. His army was leaving him, the enemy was strong, all these external pressures were pressuring him to do something. What was that something? That something was to offer the sacrifice to the Lord himself without Samuel present. Why was this a wrong action? Saul was trying to please man and failed to thing about the Lord, analyzed the situation instead of seeking the Lord, and he convinced himself that he met the conditions of the promise.

We all have responsibilities at work, in our relationship with God, in our family, to our wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend, to our roommate. We all have responsiblilites and pressure to accomplish the mission. What happens if we fail to accomplish the mission we feel hurt most likely is not a physical hurt but we are hurt emotionally and spiritually. We do not want to feel hurt so we do everything in our own power to accomplish the mission. Yet, often times the more we try in our own power to accomplish the mission the more likely we are to fail. What we really need to do is trust less in our own strength, ability to do things and power and trust in God a whole lot more. God will provide everything we need for our current situation. It might not be what we need to succeed in the mission but he will get us through the situation. Even though God might let us fail the mission God will be there to comfort your hurt and when you look back at the situation and have trusted God you will see how insignificant that situation was compared to your current relationship with God.

Ultimately, we need to all be men or women after God’s own heart. We need to trust in God and not be driven by success. We need to be motivated out of love to trust and obey God. Saul lost his kingdom not because he offered the sacrifice to God but because he was not a man after God’s own heart. David who disobeyed God by eating of the bread of presence, by committing adultery and murder and by taking a census did not lose his kingdom, Why? Simple because David was a man after God’s own heart. God was not pleased with David and punished David for his sins but because David was a man after God’s own heart God did not take away his kingdom. Do you desired to be a man or woman after God’s own heart? Can we be men or women after God’s own heart? I desire to be a man after God’s own heart and I believe that I can be a man after God’s own heart.

Lately, I have been doing a fair amount of reading. Over the course of the summer I managed to read the entire Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy series and Harry Potter series. I just finished rereading Searching For God Knows What by Don Miller and am about to reread the author’s other book Blue Like Jazz. I read this book about a year ago and probably did not get much out of it at the time. However, this time the book really spoke volumes about what I have been thinking about lately.

The premise of the book is to show that true Christianity is all about relationships.

The book starts with the author going to a writers seminar in which he was basically told that he could write a successful book using a simple formula. After attending this seminar he began to try to read these formulas into the Bible to find a formula to improve the readers life of his books. Yet, as he read the Bible he could not find any formulas that worked and made sense. The author realized that formulas and theology do not satisfactorily answer the deepest longing of our heart.

Mr. Miller realized that after the Fall in the Garden of Eden something deep inside of us disappeared. This something was our relationship with God. Mr. Miller proposed that before the Fall humanity received its sense of self worthy from God and that after the Fall when we were separated from God we lost our sense of self worth. He went on to say that since we lost our connection to God we try comparing ourselves to other to try and fulfill our need for self worth. Yet, this attempt to fulfill a need that only God can meet is futile. This idea makes so much sense in my opinion. What if the pain we feel? The trying to compare ourselves to others, the obsession with who has the bigger house, the better car, the best clothes? All that goes back to the Fall in which our sense of self worth and the need to be loved were met completely by God and that by sinning against God God no longer was able to associate himself with us and fulfill these needs.

After, the Fall God did not abandon us or destroy us. He continued to pursue us. He desired to continue to have a relationship with us. He provided the first sacrifice to make clothing for Adam and Eve, He provided the law to show us our problem and He provided a sacrificial system to allow the Israelites to relate with him. Yet, all these things failed not because they are evil but because they are formulas to get to God and don’t fix the relationship problem with God. Enter Jesus the solution to our relationship problem with God. Jesus who was both God and Human lived a perfect life and die to save us and give us access to God. Jesus is our access to God, who can provide us all the love and self worth we need.

A relationship with God who can meet all my needs makes more sense and better than rules and formula to get to God. Do you desire a relationship with God? Do you wish to be intimate with God? I do.

I have recently embarked on a journey to learn to be more intimate with God and actually be intimate with God. One of the things I know that is preventing me from being intimate with God is that I do not fully trust God. You may be asking how I can not trust God who is a perfect being and wants nothing more than to love and care for me. I can not answer why I do not trust God fully but I do not.

In my own life I recently realized that I do not trust God to provide me with a future wife. This might sound silly and it probably is but I do not trust God with my love life. In the past couple of years I have meet so many wonderful young ladies who I thought God might have brought into my life to possible be a future wife. Guess what? Everyone of those possible relationships did not work out. Every time I thought God was bringing a possible wife into my life; God slammed the door on those possible relationships. Those years of slammed door, years of loneliness, and a deep desire to connect with someone on a deep level lead me to distrust God.

I am now at the stage of trusting God with my love life. How do I trust God with my love life? I don’t really have a good answer to that question but I do know two things that will help me to trust God.

The first is the fact that feeling lonely is a natural feeling. Look at Adam in Garden of Eden:

“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ” (Genesis 2:18-22, ESV)

God right after he created man and told Adam the “rules,” God realized that it is not good for Adam to be alone and God provided a suitable mate. But, before God provided for Adam’s need for a mate, he made Adam name all the animals. Why? I really can not answer why but my guess is that God wanted Adam to feel lonely such that when God provided for his need Adam could fully appreciate what a wonderful gift God provided and to appreciate Eve. I need to realize that the loneliness I feel will make me appreciate the person who fulfills my feelings of loneliness all the more.

The second is to realize that God will in his own time provide me with my soul mate. I am reminded of Matthew 9-11, “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” God will provide for my need perfectly and I need to remember this and just trust him.

I am ready to let go of this distrust in God. I am ready to trust God with my love life again and cling to the promise that he will provide for me the perfect soul mate.

“‘Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus;

Just to take him at his word:

Just to rest upon his promise,

And to know, “Thus Says the Lord”"