I have been thinking a lot lately about the church and have realized that I am tired of the majority of churches in America. I have been faithful to regularly attend Sunday morning church services and Sunday school all my life. I may have missed a week or two occasionally here and there but I usually had a good reason for doing so. I also have attended a variety of churches over my 22 years of life; I have attended small church services, big church services, church services in a church building, church services in school buildings. At the moment in my walk with Christ, I have concluded that I am tired of the church in America.

You might be wondering why I am tired of the church. I am tired of the church because we all go to church and pretend to be something we are not. I am just as guilty as everyone else. We go to church every Sunday and shake hands with our neighbors in our pews and say “Good Morning! How are you doing?” And because we are afraid of what people might think about us, we respond with “I am doing good (or fine or O.K.)” and then we go on and greet the other people in the church. Yet, in all reality deep down inside of us we most likely are not doing good at all. Deep down inside of ourselves we are lost and confused, we are desperately searching for answers to problems that we can’t answer ourselves. Yet, we are to afraid to let anyone know that we are struggling with something. I assume that we do this either because of our pride or shame of what we are struggling with or fear that if we truly open ourselves up to others they will stop loving us.

I think we as the people of God need to go back and look at the New Testament leaders of the early church. The twelve apostles were men who, if we are to be honest with ourselves, no better than we are today. The disciples were fisherman, tax collectors, zealots, accusers of the early church. These were men who were sinners, yet Jesus Christ and God still loved these men and used these men to do great things in the early church. God knew these men struggled with sin but he still loved them with every fiber in his being. God knows we are sinners and we struggle in living like Christ yet no matter what we have done or said he still loves us just like he loved the people in the Bible. Look at all the letters to the early churches the writers of these letters knew these people were struggling with being a sinner and issues of Christianity. But the writers of these letters loved and cared enough for their fellow believers they would take time out of there schedule to help each other out. Here we are 2000 years later still all sinners and still loved by God but yet we don’t allow others to get close enough to realize that we are struggling with something. I for one am so tired of pretending I have it all together. There are days in which my heart is lost and in turmoil and I just need someone to talk to and someone who will love me for who I am not who I pretend to be.

The next time someone ask you how you are doing, especially a Christian, be honest with them and with yourself. If you are not doing well let them know, if you need pray ask them for it. If you don’t know the person well or you don’t trust them, just ask for pray you don’t have to tell them every thing you are struggling with. But if it is someone you know well and you trust them, tell them what you are struggling with and ask them if they can help you or point you in the direction of someone who can help you.

From this moment forward, I will stop pretending I have it all together and acknowledge that I am a sinner in need of a Savior and that I need his help 24/7/365 till the day I die. I also will try and be more honest with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and let someone know if I am struggling with something and I need help. I pray that you will do the same thing and be honest with your fellow believers about what you as a Christian are struggling with because you are most likely not the only one struggling with it.

The following song is called Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns. I included the lyrics to this song because I feel it summarized my thoughts in this post well.

Stained Glass Masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

(Chorus) Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Chorus (x2)

Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

The following song is called My Jesus by Todd Agnew. In the song Todd Agnew is basically asking us do we really follow Jesus or do we just pretend to be followers of Jesus. I look at the church in America and agree with Todd Agnew that the majority of Christians in America just pretend to be followers of Jesus. We don’t really follow Christ especially the part about imitating Christ; most believers in my opinion don’t reach out to the lost in the world. Most believers just go to church on Sunday and then go home and live like the rest of the world until the next Sunday. Which Jesus do I follow? I am the Christian who believes in Christ, but goes to church on Sunday and then lives like the rest of the world the rest of the week. But I desire to truly imitate Christ and one day with help from God and fellow believers I might get there. Which Jesus do you follow?

My Jesus by Todd Agnew

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we’d recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He’d prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I’m tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I’m not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!