I have recently embarked on a journey to learn to be more intimate with God and actually be intimate with God. One of the things I know that is preventing me from being intimate with God is that I do not fully trust God. You may be asking how I can not trust God who is a perfect being and wants nothing more than to love and care for me. I can not answer why I do not trust God fully but I do not.

In my own life I recently realized that I do not trust God to provide me with a future wife. This might sound silly and it probably is but I do not trust God with my love life. In the past couple of years I have meet so many wonderful young ladies who I thought God might have brought into my life to possible be a future wife. Guess what? Everyone of those possible relationships did not work out. Every time I thought God was bringing a possible wife into my life; God slammed the door on those possible relationships. Those years of slammed door, years of loneliness, and a deep desire to connect with someone on a deep level lead me to distrust God.

I am now at the stage of trusting God with my love life. How do I trust God with my love life? I don’t really have a good answer to that question but I do know two things that will help me to trust God.

The first is the fact that feeling lonely is a natural feeling. Look at Adam in Garden of Eden:

“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ” (Genesis 2:18-22, ESV)

God right after he created man and told Adam the “rules,” God realized that it is not good for Adam to be alone and God provided a suitable mate. But, before God provided for Adam’s need for a mate, he made Adam name all the animals. Why? I really can not answer why but my guess is that God wanted Adam to feel lonely such that when God provided for his need Adam could fully appreciate what a wonderful gift God provided and to appreciate Eve. I need to realize that the loneliness I feel will make me appreciate the person who fulfills my feelings of loneliness all the more.

The second is to realize that God will in his own time provide me with my soul mate. I am reminded of Matthew 9-11, “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” God will provide for my need perfectly and I need to remember this and just trust him.

I am ready to let go of this distrust in God. I am ready to trust God with my love life again and cling to the promise that he will provide for me the perfect soul mate.

“‘Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus;

Just to take him at his word:

Just to rest upon his promise,

And to know, “Thus Says the Lord”"